What is Aromanticism?
Sexual Orientation & Romantic Orientation
Most people are unfamiliar with the term “Aromantic”. Aromantic people, in brief, have little or no romantic attraction to others. You may be familiar with the term “Asexual”. But it’s different. Individuals who are asexual have little or no sexual attraction to others. Take a look at the illustration below:
You’re probably smart enough to tell the difference. It’s actually the distinction between sexual and romantic orientations. Five distinct orientations are shown in the table below.
| Descriptation | Sexual Orientation | Romantic Orientation |
|---|---|---|
| Attracted to people of a different gender | Straight/Heterosexual | Heteroromantic |
| Attracted to people of the same gender | Gay/Lesbian/Homosexual | Homoromantic |
| Attracted to more than one gender of people | Bisexual | Biromantic |
| Attracted to people of all genders/regardless of gender | Pansexual | Panromantic |
| Attracted to people rarely, weakly, or not at all | Asexual | Aromantic |
Characteristics of Aromanticism
Some signs that you might be aromantic include:
- You don’t experience feelings of romantic attraction.
- You feel that you do not need a romantic relationship to feel complete or fulfilled.
- You don’t experience “crushes” or being “in love” with someone else.
- You have a hard time relating to romantic stories.
Aromantic Spectrum
Everyone’s experience is unique, so feelings about romance and relationships can vary greatly among aromantic people. Like other sexual orientations, Aromanticism is a spectrum. Different people have different level of ramantic attraction to others. The aromantic flag shows the spectrum:
- Gray - Gray-romantic: These terms refer to individuals who fall somewhere in the middle of aromantic and romantic. They may experience some romantic feelings but only under certain conditions.
- Black - WTF-romantic: someone who finds romantic attraction confusing, or cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, or is unsure of whether they experience romantic attraction.
My story about how I realized I’m aromantic
In my nation, most parents forbid their children from having a girlfriend or boyfriend. They believe that the most essential thing for their children at this age is to work hard and earn good grades so that they can attend the best universities. As a direct consequence, I rarely consider romantic relationships before going to college. For us, staying alone is the most normal option.
When I was in college, my roommates would frequently discuss their crushes. I don’t know how they could have a crush on others so simply. When people asked me, “What would your perfect boyfriend look like?” I realized I’ve never imagined my ideal partner’s characteristics. In fact, I really enjoy romantic stories, but I don’t think it’ll ever happen to me. It will not be romantic if it occurs to me. It will be lengthy and tedious.
“Be single is pathetic.” they said, “When you ages, you will know what I mean.”
I began to wonder why there are numerous festivals dedicated to lovers and why I am different from others. Then I came across the term Aromantic. After consulting the explanation, I was relieved to learn that the term “explain who I am” exists! I regain my confidence! I don’t need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled.
I’d want to clarify that being aromantic does not imply that we don’t feel love or any romantic attractions. Under certain circumstances, I may feel romantic desires. But it’s too short, and I don’t think I want the romantic attraction to turn into a real relationship.
References
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